I'm not really sure why I am confused. I feel like I am so complacent with everything at the moment. Everything is not true... I am very very happy with my new job. I don't have stress about it and feel very confident about my skill. That is a very positive thing to feel. I am anxious to hit 90 days. I know nothing special is going to happen, but I feel like I have been waiting for it for a while. Funny how the closer I come to the 90 mark, the nicer it feels to not have to be attached to another person usually of the opposite sex. However, the more a person acts as if they don't need a relationship, the more the flood gates open for possible suiters.
I really want to try taking advantage of being single for a while. Maybe a long while. Never in my life have I felt so content without having somebody to complain to, love, have fun with, take care of, etc. I get most of that stuff from me now.
I am mostly turned off by people who seem to need me. A lot of people are needy .. its almost like default human nature.. except it is not. As babies, if we were left to fend for ourselves with the proper materials to stay alive, we wouldnt NEED anyone. I think the point has been made.
As much fun as I have been having dating, I still want to be alone. Not isolating, but not responsible for how anyone else feels. It's true ... I stillll miss Mr. K. And I am completely OK with that fact. He was my best friend for what felt like a lifetime... I still love him dearly. But I have hope now ... that everything is going the way it is supposed to go.
It feels good.
Now that I think about it... I dont feel weird or complacent at all. Everything is going just fine.
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